Caryl Greenberg, MSW, LSW
How to Stop Feeling Inadequate
What is it about us that certain people bring out our insecurities? As a college student, I was so happy when I achieved an A- in this one particular class that was challenging for me. A friend that seemed to have things come easy to her including receiving an A without studying made it a point of telling me she received the highest grade in the class.
She always had a story that topped mine, you get the picture. She wasn’t a bad person she just did a bit of bragging. So, the inadequacy feeling I had was all about me-not her making me feel that way.
According to Ellen Hendriksen, PhD there are ways to overcome our feelings of inadequacy and I’d like to share them with you. A couple of people came to me recently feeling a little inadequate themselves so I thought perhaps this would help us all!
Tip #1- Trust That Everyone Has His Or Her Stuff My college friend that did a bit of boasting probably feels some degree of inadequacy herself. True adequacy doesn’t need to advertise. She might have felt the need for affirmation; who knows? We are all human and as such, we are all insecure at times. When I realize that, no one is perfect I feel better.
Tip #2- Add Yet Trying to lose those last 10 pounds or working on putting those pictures in albums? Feeling bad about yourself because you are not achieving your goals? Think about your goals as a process not a fixed mindset. ‘I have not lost those 10 pounds ‘yet’.
Tip #3- Broaden Your Scope Financial success, appearance, relationship bliss…this belief system, that if you don’t measure up you are not successful sets us up for failure. Having integrity, being curious, a hunger to learn, doing things you love, speaking the truth, and most of all, creating and maintaining warm and loving relationships with friends and family; these are areas in which we have success.
Tip #4- Contingent Self Esteem term called contingent self-esteem is the tendency to change one’s self-evaluation based on feedback. It’s the most fragile form of self-esteem, as it is controlled by others. Work on feeling good about yourself and don’t base your self-esteem on how others compliment you.
Tip#5- Perfection Is Boring
Blue Angel Program Sponsored by the SB Police. A lock box with your key is placed securely on your doorknob, should you need to call 911 for fire or EMT and can’t let in emergency workers in. Getting to you quicker without property damage is the goal for this program. Apps are available on the township website, in the senior center or police station. I will happily notarize this form for you.
All these programs are free as are many others. If you would like to explore which programs, you might like to take advantage of please call to schedule an appointment with me.
Veteran Outreach Forum- Tuesday, April 10 at 10:30 am Please come and invite others who would
benefit from this forum.
Bereavement Group- Mondays, April 16th 10:45–12:00
will run six consecutive weeks. A minimum of four individuals for this group and a maximum of eight.
Please call Caryl to register at 732-329-4000 x7212.
Join A Group...
What's on Your Mind
"What's On Your Mind" meets on Fridays at 2:15 p.m. to discuss current events and information that interests you. We welcome new members. You can drop in anytime. Call Caryl for more information.
Monthly Bereavement Support Group
Ongoing support group which meets the first Monday of every month at 11:45. Participants offer mutual support to each other as we share our struggles and grief in a safe non-judgmental venue.
The Senior Center also offers a six week Bereavement Support Group when there has been a more recent loss of a significant other. Please call Caryl for more information.
A weekly group using literature as a conduit for discussion. Participants share thoughts and feelings about what they have read and relate it ‘if applicable’ to their life experience. We meet every Thursday (except the first Thursday of the month) at 10:30 am. Please call Caryl for more information.
VISION LOSS SUPPORT GROUP
Meets the first Friday of every month at 10:30 a.m. in the conference room. This is an opportunity to meet new people, share information and benefit from mutual support.
Veterans age 55 + meet monthly to share stories and strive to re-create the camaraderie that is experienced when sharing a common bond. This group meets monthly on the 2nd Tuesday of each month at 10:45 a.m.
Social Work Services
As more individuals are choosing to ‘age in place’, the senior center offers ‘home visits’ by the Social Worker to the HOMEBOUND elderly. We can provide limited case management services, emotional support and counseling. Many issues include loss, care giving concerns and tensions, coping with health problems, relationship issues, independence, depression, substance abuse, isolation and more. The Social Worker also sees individuals and couples on site. Please contact Caryl Greenberg for further information.
I am now a NOTARY PUBLIC in the state of NJ. If you need something to be notarized, free of cost, to ensure you are not disappointed please call first to make sure I am in.